Life is too short, and as cliche as it sounds—its true. That’s why I blog. People think they know you but in reality only few does. I think the people who read my blog thoroughly knows me better than my biological family. I will not leave without truth written or told from the one that have perceived it, and that’s me. No sugar coating or anything, just read. So if a funeral was to occur, and the phony ass preachin’ ass nigga try to send me to heaven, know that you read hell. Show em’ my blog, maybe it’ll change their perception of life. Lol
Writtin in her perspective
Ceej,
I love you..
is not a vain rehearsal,
to an vague conversation,
that i engage time in,
before the genuine arrival.
so please refrain from
utilization of
those words, bullets,
aimed towards my dorsal
Should consume Midol
because..
those very three words
are hard to stomach.
especially when me and
my past pain, flaunted it.
But, love?
Ironic.
Never done it.
Although we’ve done it,
everyday.
misinterpreted, bluntly
in every way
I say
leave,
meaning stay
He say,
nothing
and its only an delay
-on my part
My heart..
never had mutuality,
though it breaks apart
Our blood just doesn’t
flow, in bath water
as it goes.
Midol, again
Rain, no menstral flow.
So next time you know
don’t think of me as a hoe.
This is just an phase “show”
too see if you are as real
as you’re intentions show.
Yet, i said i loved you first,
you’re my first
and i said this before
with the nigga,
in which i had an rapport
he’s claimin we’re on intermission
but i found you
in spite of the fiction distort
you’re my resort
to almost everything
I’m inquiring my love for you,
never felt this before,
or maybe i did
but not this real before
so i say it,
and you reply
as cliche, as i expected to be.
i had an blue heart
and you resurrected you into me
I just hope you say what you mean,
because love is thrown around
and never means,
what thus far we have begun to be.
March14.
I don’t know how to engage my self in that feeling again. You can’t teach me as you would like to; it’s just natural. I don’t know. Lets switch females. All i want to question is your solitude? Do you ever experience it? Do you ever feel as desolate as Zion in Lamentations? I know your diabolical ass don’t read and have never felt emotion as of Zion. Do you have feelings? If you do, you have yet to express them. Not no more. Do you ever feel the need to suppress the feelings you once had for me by fulfilling the emptiness in engaging your time in someone else? Is that someone else ever adequate to sustain that need? If it isnt, then shit. Shit, mutuality has found us again. Do you fake and blame revelry, to say I love you. You know? Cause you were conditioned to saying it with a meaning for so long..something must fill that void? Right? Its ok if it is mutual, because feelings are as involuntary as this heart that beats for you. Is it? All i know is that, is that it can stop and I’ll go to hell for it. But i doubt it. I doubt it. I’m your deepest cut and yet you’ve forgotten me. This some weeknd shit, same ole song. Let it be the last. Fuck it, excuse this metaphor God, I’m Zion. Does it take another heaven in the firmament to regain this exuberance? I need it.
No disrespect towards those who don’t agree with my beliefs, but I’ve been deprived this whole fucking year man. This shit blows. I was on the right path with God, now i can’t seem to put in effort to retrieve that path. What an diabolical and infallible hoe, an hoe i thought was alterable. J.Cole did mention in Lights please, that she’s powerful. Damn son, hol up
